Marriage Prep

We live in a world where people aren't dating anymore. When was the last time you went on a date with your significant other? Dating is so important so you can get to know the person you will marry or did marry. So many couples are still getting to know the person they married even if it is has been several years. So how long should you date someone? How do you know that you are marrying someone that you should especially if you will still be getting to know someone years down the line?

There is a process of selecting people that potential could be marriage quality. One is being able to meet them. There are an innumerable amount of people on this earth. Not all will be people you actually meet. Second is physical appearance. It is the first thing you see and even though we would like to say that physical appearance doesn't matter, it does. Maybe we won't be attracted at first but there has to be some attraction. There will also be personal traits that will help you grow to love someone.
There are so many myths out there about love and finding your companion. The first that their exist one person out there for you. This is ridiculous and just a highly romanticized. There are potentially several people you could be compatible with.

The next highly concerning myths is that emotions equal love. We have all thought. I love this person because I feel so happy and I long to be with that person. But is that love? Will a marriage last if that is the only thing you base your relationship off? Sadly some do. The media very much focuses on this kind of love. I am not saying this passionate blind love doesn't serve a purpose. It does and can help a blooming relationship as you overlook all of the weakness of that person. I just know the feelings will die and then you will have to make a choice. Real love is choosing your partner everyday and supporting them despite weakness or flaws. So you most definitely should not go into a marriage on just emotions. Your marriage will probably become very difficult. The success of a marriage is largely defined by how well you work together.

Another concern about emotions and the high from attraction is that some people may have misattribution of arousal. We can feel similar emotions that are equated to attraction through activities that increase heart rate like exercise, scary movies, and roller coasters. How do you know then?

When you chose to love your partner and commit. You know when you work well together and have plans for you future. You care more about your companion then yourself. It isn't about instant gratification that you may feel when they compliment or make you feel special. You have a healthy attachment which includes knowing about each other trusting each other, relying on each other, committing to each other, and touch with respect to the other.