Engagement and the First few months of Marriage

I recently became engaged to a kind man and thought of the importance of an engagement. What is the purpose of an engagement? The main purpose is to help create your own family unit and set boundaries. You want to be independent of your parents and interdependent with your spouse. This begins in the engagment process. You are making decisions together.

I know that I have seen this in my own life. I am independent from my parents and have made many decisions without them. It is apart of being an adult. I know my fiancé is the same way. We work as a team to make decisions. Right now he is on the hunt for an internship. We are working on this process together because it impacts both of us.

You still need to have a good relationship with your parents but  they do not become a part of decision making in your relationship. You also shouldn't ask advice from your parents or talk about your problems with them. It keeps your relationship communicating and working together. Any other person that you chose to disclose only reinforces that relationship. This is unhealthy and makes your partner not feel as significant. You should be as described by Whitney L. Clayton in his talk watch and learn. "Fiercely loyal" is a phrase that resonates well with this principle. Are you betraying your partner and running to your parents?

There might be bumps on the road of engagment but the first few months and year of marriage has many hurdles and bumps. You have to share a bedroom and bed together. There is a sharing of everything. For those who have been very independent will find this difficult. Communication will be crucial. You also should be continuing to date and get to know your partner. Sam and I continue to learn new things and what the other person likes. Sam really loves biscuits but he doesn't usually have them for breakfast like my southern self.

This might seem silly but continues to open communication when your partner down plays an issue. There will be plenty of conflicts and that is normal. It is how you solve these problems and continue to pour out love for each other will create a beautiful marriage.