Working and Finances

Something that has become a conflict for me is whether to pursue a career. I have a deep desire to go on to a master's program and become a Marriage and Family Therapist. I want to share my talents to better society and help others. I also don't want to neglect my marriage and having children. This is a conflict so many woman have. Is it possible to have both or must you make sacrifices? I don't think you can fully have both and be okay with some sacrifices. Women working outside the home isn't bad it just has psychological effects on the family. In my own experience, my mother worked outside the home. I knew my parents struggled with money. It was hard to see both of my parents work so hard and then come home and work hard to maintain there responsibilities as parents. They can't do everything. A woman shouldn't get in the habit of believing that she can be superwoman and balance it all. You aren't balancing but making sacrifices for what seems a good balance. I know that my family should and will always come first. I haven't firmly made a decision but I am learning more that staying at home with kids is important. I wish at times my parents had the energy to be more emotionally available for me. They also were more strict and expected more from me because they couldn't give more. I grew up with a sense of independence and working hard but I also grew up being insecure and very critical of myself. Mothers and fathers need to provide as much as they can financially but they also need to provide emotional and mental support. Women we are strong and we can do many things but there needs to be lots of weighing of the consequences when we leave our kids briefly to fulfill our ambitions for careers.

Some women can't afford not to work outside of the home. If this is the case, I know you are doing the best you can. Not all situations are ideal and we will never be the perfect mother or parent. It just can't and won't happen. I want to make sure the decisions I make about work are not selfish and about gratifying what I want.

We tend to have to work because money is necessary for living. How are we treating the money that comes our way? Are we budgeting? Are we letting our money manage us? There is a great free advice on financial matters called One for the Money.http://mormonbudget.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/031_one-for-the-money.pdf
It talks about how to budget and take care of money as a family. One strong suggestion is to avoid debt as much as possible. My parents have struggled with insurmountable debt. It is a heavy burden and will stick with you. The advice in this pamphlet suggests that you use a debt-elimination calendar. There is a template in the link of how this works. It makes you aware of your debt and work towards removing it from your life. One of the thoughts that I had when reading is how you should learn skills to save money. I liked the idea of learning new skills together as a couple so that we don't have to pay someone to paint our house or change our oil. We can do those things ourselves. I am planning on talking about this with my fiance. He can teach me and I can teach him. It can be away of growing as a family and couple. We teach each other skills and learn to be more self-reliant and frugal with our money.